Bugolgi Apparatus

  Lullabye are we still in a lull how long does it last you seem depressed why do you ask i’d give you a call if you’d respond you might not be up preferring down my friend Carl used to savor one paired with a wine writing dead stars without replies i use the time to be unproductive putting existential goals in order working seductions

the goddess of irony  drowns the city with her laughter then she offers assistance after every disaster you tell her you're leaving she says, "not so soon." she's busy using your heart to clean up her room you swear you'll miss her  this she doesn't believe you hide those pictures of her sister  in the folder on your screen everyone carries her egg within the egg is a lie you find out too late it’s not what it takes to survive

I just watch everything and think What the fuck is going on I’m fine in my apartment I see no reason to step out I miss the city I miss the buzz I just miss being young But could you imagine stepping Back into yesterday with what you know now So I’m exiled in the suburbs I’m that old crazy woman now I won’t post more than a few pieces of art It’s insane how everything is public Where’s the dignity in that When I get too lonely I just talk to my plants You’ll never get me The way you want me Live with your regrets   While I don’t have any I had my fun And now I’ve got my dignity   Can’t step into that cesspool again   Not with these heels

I meet a lot of people   coming out of trauma   they make it sound thrilling   connecting with something   that gives them   so much meaning   before I can wish it   could happen to me   they’ve got me up to   my bare sleeves   I breathe them in   over my skin   before I can tell   what’s happening   I’m feeling horrific visions   blended with love   resembling the predictions   science warns us about   I’m telling you all about it   just telling you all about it

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