Bugolgi Apparatus

 Henrietta  we would go shopping in Henrietta  the sprawl near our town  parking lots stretched forever  watching from the left side of the car  it felt like another planet  fluorescent and asphalt  its monotony broken by signs  the kind you’d find in airports  I’d get nauseous in Henrietta  from the traffic and ice cream  the dazzle of a new toy to take back  to Penfield  we all now live in Henrietta  mom’s gone with the sheen  we find occasional pleasures  amidst flash food warnings

Men  I will do the wrong thing  I’ll do it with style  just to prove  I’m alive  of course you’re correct  of course you’re clever  that’s why I’m burning it all down  just to start over 

 Like a human  love takes off our pants  leaves on our masks  settling on lands  claimed by earlier peoples  running our rackets  offering blankets  reading histories  to learn about our evils  as Sinatra plays  we go on our way  smirking at prayers and players  in the chapel  We call it a day  robbed of our fates  unsure if anything we did  was ever helpful

On Vibrate vibrate the metaphors fly the songs  attack tomorrow  with all you’ve got  sex the silence  dazzle the verbs  eat the film  cos there’s no cure  

  Situations Circumstances Complications Consequences where does time go   in these times   like to get some back yours and mine   I can read the news almost make it rhyme   but I get so tied up in   this life of   situations circumstances complications consequences there’s no confusion anymore   you’re expected to know   what it’s all for   and the things you learned   don’t add up to a future   what do they expect out of you   I know something about you   I know how we feel   how we move   further than that it’s all   a trap do you blame me for not   believing the truth of   we might never get our day   but we’ll fight to make it change   moving in a möbius comic  

  Beautiful Objections   there’s what you want   what you need   what you feel   what you believe   what you eat   what you breathe   darling we’re   living things   with beautiful objections   nice problems   keeping us occupied   within this life   there’s your time   your need for space   your desires   your need to be correct   your morals   your parents’ photos   that symbol   around your neck   your dreams   what you think of me   this fucked up   reality   beautiful objections   a great mess   hidden logic   patterns undetected   what we do   how we dream   the weekend   my money   another meal   another kiss   things on your mind   sudden flowers  

  Favorite Films I’ve become someone else again   under the influence of a film   something I’ve read   and the weather   I just can’t understand how   I do this job   pay the rent   why we’re still together   leaving is always strong   quitting never feels wrong   familiar disappointment’s   my secret drug   my favorite superhero movie’s   the one about people   who wake up happy everyday   and do their lives  

  Not yet   they’ll get   all they got coming   watch them gloat   with a satisfaction   bordering on sadism   give them their moment   let it get into your blood   so for when we strike   late at night   you won’t feel   the slightest   hesitation  

 Promises Where did it go-your promise  to yourself or the world  you’d held it; protected it  for all those years  to release to  an audience of fools  it flew like an untethered balloon  or a deli bag on the wind  the sense of loss or regret  tempered by the beauty  of the dance  of life’s currents  all promises to the wind  as you wake up  and recommit yourself  to the present moment

  Limited Edition this is a limited edition   short print run   there’s only one   extant copy   you’re the one there’s an invisible mission   you can’t understand   you get a few breadcrumbs   that fall out of your hands   and most won’t know   a thing you’ve been told   and many can’t see   what you can truly be   this is a limited edition it can’t sell out   it only goes up in value   with all you’ve done   we can speculate   they can counterfeit   but when you’re gone   there’ll be none left  

  The Externals I’ve spent a lifetime   seeking validation  from eyes  of strangers  fighting impulses   gaze meets gaze   dreams, desires, experience    communicate  vertigo pulls us away   as a recognition  dissolves fears  I thought were only my own