Bugolgi Apparatus

 Past Lives I recognize the guy in the photo- I can’t quite place his face  I can see a certain resemblance  but it’s nothing if not vague  they seem to be having quite a time  everything shines at that age  then you get fat bald and wise  what you wouldn’t trade for another chance  these past lives a fiction  who’s writing them anyways  I was once filled with anticipation  now eye rolls fill my belly  past lives feel like an exception  to this misery and fear  who said there was life without possibility  it’s nothing I want to hear  I ignore the cracks in my back  now my hands don’t wanna close  I reach for that pen like Burroughs  with a needle the ink then turns to smoke  I’m gonna write my way out of this  add another chapter  a last minute come from behind  explosion blown in the jaws of failure

 It’s Personal Between me and the world  it’s personal- I’ve tried to make peace  too many times  I’m open to discussion  but I’ve been lied to and I’m ready to fight always invading my space  with a story that doesn’t track  got a lot of explaining to do  I’ve moved on from there  you’re welcome to visit my bubble  barely room for two  it’s really crowded  with chocolate, records, and books  painted green and blue  you’re welcome to stay for a day or two  any longer I get restless and bored  there’s too much work to do

 On your watch The woman who  discovered liberty  said it was always  hanging around  people too scared  to touch it  preferring their  own fears and doubts She couldn’t wait  any longer  her heart wound  like an alarm  racing through the city  on a black stallion  banging out  this song  wake up to what’s happening  this evil must be stopped  the world is being poisoned  here on your watch   the sheriff he slept soundly  awakened by a buzz  straight from the factory offices of a Mister Albert Crumb  he said we got trouble  someone’s found out the sheriff knew what to do  a sadistic fool  he’d shoot out her legs  then the town could stream  what he’d do next  right there on their watch

take everything   it’s not mine   never liked half of it   chains around my neck   I’ll spend the rest   how I see fit   sometimes it’s just   staring at the sky   enjoying this   gift of time   why are you in such a hurry   the horrors will continue   after a brief message   from our sponsors   come here and let’s   light up this moment   here in our mind   it’s not promised I don’t know   how much is left   I don’t think   I can get more   so let’s just   share one last hit this gift   of time  

 It rhymes my many enemies  all hide inside of me  the externals got nothing  on my doubts and self-loathing  I could be a cliff diver  under my low self-esteem  battling windmills  like pigeons in gale force winds  I fight I exercise and I read  sometimes all for nothing  just when things look  the most bleak  you give me a call  and suddenly  I’m standing  seven feet tall in heels

  Richer It’s a beautiful thing  you do  in these ugly times  looking to the light  just  to remind us  of the  power  in all of us  it’s enough to just  laugh in the face  of these horrors dancing  between  shots  let’s not sell  ourselves  short or out

 In a moment  In the space of a song  in the time of a moment  we can be somewhere  we can feel transported  short of a meteor  or violent revolution  we take our minds  to another dimension  with something  delicate as a melody  harmony  and a rhythm  a lyric scratched out as inspiration dictates in the space of an instant  while the faucet links  and poverty grinds  and we live and die  only to decide  it was  beautiful  if only  for a moment

 Prison Workout The slit opens  I remember I’m here  pain dares me  just to feel  I greet the body  with a sort of prayer   then think of anything other than this  I go down to the floor  hope I return  every breath  a calculated concern  calendar on the wall  needles on the clock  up against nerve  muscles and blood  halfway done   something takes over  the self-talk promise  that things get better  hope is the last thing  that ever leaves  wrapped up in a swirl  of sweat and endorphins