Bugolgi Apparatus

I've maxed my cards we'll need groceries but you should come out if only for the weekend dialogue doesn’t stop it's never boring to me I rely on our friendship to get through these evenings when the world outside  looks dangerous and ugly we're saved by the thought we've got nothing worth stealing got a new recipe saved you some books of course we'll sing despite these moods I need to set you straight you'll tell me a thing or two our hearts can't bear another year without me and you

Splitting Ourselves half of us are afraid wanting to be strong when things go down half of us never made dreams come true we want it now half of us resort to blame demanding a right to make bigger mistakes half of us don't feel ashamed refusing science we follow our hearts which half of us inside or outside top or bottom which half of us brothers or sisters sober or drunken in our heads or hearts with lottery tickets at work on the weekend in bed and churches all of us explain reasons and motives up to a point the point up to the pain in front our lives we feel lonely and lost all of us need the same thing someone who gets us gets us all night in the meantime we're angry if anyone else feels satisfied (and there's a whole lot of pain when we split ourselves up)

He said/She said Our styles are different; that I can see Our aims are the same, ultimately This level of comfort's difficult to maintain Even with advances in technology So I say let's destroy the world politely There's no reason to be mean If we destroy the world politely It may even say "Thanks" It's written in prophecies It's spelt out on lists How can we deny your desire For happiness We'll watch it on monitors Feel it in winds It'll be incremental Except for an occasional rift We'll take things apart Then eat up the bits You could play along With honorary player status

modus vivendi I meet people We talk about our lives Take off clothes And try to survive Barely scratching surfaces Stabbing the dark Waking up without Feeling too caught Creating small Understandings With shared dreams, Fears, and loss Spreading dormant viruses While almost touching love

1,000 decisions When you make A thousand decisions Nostalgia's instant For the life you had just seconds before But the game moves on Pieces drop Only then you notice Locks on the door Others demand You show your hand For a second you feel Confidence slip But the moment's yours Precisely because They're too scared To acknowledge What they've already lost

Kinesthetic Learning I need to feel you under layers of social things pages of misunderstandings I need to know animal in the staged shoot original un-manipulated you whose horizontality leaves nothing to desire in a sunrise

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0uufEiCTYEo

The Past They were big people They spoke in loud voices They attempted Great things Those statues in the park Are life-sized, by the way They were made out of bronze And would often go years Without wiping The birdshit off their faces

Another Rochester astronomers have discovered another Rochester signals bouncing off structures of Montevideo-X reflecting into deep space although it's mostly conjecture researchers posit that the city-planet hosts a population of mostly content middle-class professionals several decent parks, a waterfront, a rehabilitated financial district and at least one tolerable band weather conditions seem favorable to habitation for individuals uncomfortable with the prospect of a completely tropical existence prospective colonizers are reminded that they carry their discontented DNA with them regardless of altered chemical states

st.again. Against the current Against the wisdom Against the past Against all patterns You measure yourself In pounds of resistance Sometimes forgetting to tell me What I'm up against Common sense Current science Folklore, legends World religions All this friction All this tension With repetition Suddenly Becomes delicious

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zwUF6y7p5yo

You little american foreign policy decisions in the dessert order racism apparent in choice of flavors history of oppression in the name of your team conscience of a colonizer evidenced by your sneeze making love like a clumsy army small talk in a scene from a hulu series choosing friends based on their utility vacationing like an olympic team and you tell me have the nerve to say "what does any of this have to do with me?"

Every Chance Today was desperate Tomorrow 's out of your grasp You give it everything you got Every chance is your last Memorizing pieces of the plot Doesn't help with the act Curtain still comes down On your sleight of hand If you could change anything  You'd ask for a cigarette and a mask Is that a second line you hear Every chance is your last The girl appears With nothing in her hands Directing you to the door  Behind the magician Feel the cut of the saw Hear the audience gasp You're back on the street Torn by the past Ordering scotch Staring at a landscape in France  Leave a ten dollar tip Every chance is your last

fuck me into next week freezing in the air conditioning melting on the street brain blown out from beeping signals I can't feel no apocalypse will save us there are spots to be cleaned the externals don't seem to last but feel eternal here

Petals of Yes under layers of no there are petals of yes arrayed in a defense at points on the stem intruders approach from below releasing powdery substances received at its tips it has an immediate effect disrupting the defense chemical signals form a calculated hook and then all the no's make up one big yes faster than a thought evolution slithers on its back

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Lp_FsWEaBpI

upsetting the design people will love you  without a reason people will hate you  never knowing why the beauty is fragile it goes without saying deep as veins blue as the night if we found paradise would we insist on keeping it despite all we know  of our kind maybe we should just enjoy the moment anything more would  upset the design

what she said need to tell you a secret need you in close never told anyone you won’t be the last since I was a kid I’ve had this impulse I've come to understand I’m not like everyone else as I’ve gotten older it’s only gotten worse seen many doctors there’s just no cure hate group activities won’t join any cause can’t stand poetry crude forms of art won’t support your team or sing along don’t throw frisbees or play fucking ball sickened by humanity since I was a little girl saved by a few paintings handful of books we'll never be friends forget this kiss we can't understand each other and I take comfort in that

reverse cinderella she was always sleeping with the wrong people her friends had warned her she might wake up desperate or worse discover she’d become cinderella in reverse she fell for artists and musicians men with failing shops sculptors living in basements with very big dogs one day she met a banker with an extremely small heart she said to herself she’d love him and help his heart enlarge he showered her with vacations she shared her passion for the arts she made him a patron of all her friends’ work decades spun her head she found herself rich and alone up until her death she was never sure if she took the right way to go

The wild woman They made the bars too light They couldn't hold her She'd drink the men into a corner When they thought they were feeding her They tried various forms Of domestication She didn't take to Any of them They'd settle for guided tours In ambulances behind Face masks and chastity belts She saw right through them They had a plan to turn Her smile into a gallery But they just couldn't Get the funding She outlasted most of them But still had too many enemies

The missing "W" What Was Wrong With What We Were How can you be so together When we're not

Pyromaniacs on the event horizon I'd give you my fire if you could use it We could burn trouble for a while Take you to the room full of secrets Make love to you for a smile I've spent my life entirely naked Wearing arms around my chest Sending flares to the event horizon Asking for a little help Rescuers come in uniform Blankets and trucks make a mess Never waiting for the smoke to clear Before they're off somewhere else I'd give you a forrest you could burn it Nature does worse in a storm Compressing charcoal into diamond Some things are worth waiting for

$9 I see you rocking those nine dollar jeans feel like I'm getting  hard up internet dream in your nine dollar jeans for all the nylon in China come with me for a two dollar pizza slice fifty cent coffee fifteen dollar rock we can dream about places we could never fly with your record and my bank account see you rocking those nine dollar jeans know we're not meant to be not when those nine dollar jeans are across the street for three

The Exile All at once the mask falls off He's shaking everyone in the room You can't be serious Your ideas are ridiculous You have no idea What you do Taking the wrong bus Getting off at the wrong stop The technology Doesn't work Then she comes home And the meal is cooked A sense of calm Returns They continue The dialogue Civilization Starts with two

Sleeping with Nazis she comes home from  a hard day at the death camp never discusses work I know enough not to ask her take off her boots in silence I’m home early  working for the resistance You know what they say; opposites attract She loves hearing about office gossip I make a good soup  I’m vegetarian Usually too tired to move watching netflix Planning about the summer when she thinks the war will end She’s excited about her promotion We’ll be moving deeper into Poland I’m sure I can find work as a translator Of course it all bothers me  I throw up my hands  and I go to sleep

draw I try to give back what I took in don't wanna deal with  feelings of resentment there will be some pain and some happiness perhaps two sides  of the same process take your crayons use my pen mark up my books I'll leave ink stains  we'll scratch  crazy lines paint them  over again try on other sizes and then see what happens we'll call it a draw

Why I left you couldn't have guessed so I drew a map from where we're at to where it'd never end you didn't notice me feeling stressed you were on your mission under my dress as you counted the stars I navigated by heart to a place calm and warm off the map If you never knew  enough to ask you'll never know why I left

Every Kind of Red I want every kind of red From the tomato To your lips To the wine Just when you say There's nothing left I get the blood And the pen underlines Correcting verses Lipstick smudged on my neck Sunset etching our faces The pot making us ill I'll give you Every kind of red Tears soaking meat We'll never buy You're wearing Every kind of red Behind sunglasses Pictures posted with three likes

sugarhigh

را لمس نمی کند .   there are things we know and those we don't  places I go places you won't  it doesn't all get stored it sometimes explodes das nas san there are secrets to touch and secrets to hold usernames to forget passwords get lost just when you think your head  has gone to the clouds das nas san we can find a solution  for your storage needs as the world dries up and floods us with fear you can feel secure when you let go of things if you can resist its touch you'll know how it feels

How we bounce Sometimes when  I'm falling apart momentum's  all I got after outer layers  burn off and gravity  does its part there are just  these ideas held together  with strings microscopic  beliefs that appear  not to be seen yet appear  to be enough

Blood on Canvas  threw everything I had  against a wall  few things I could catch  the rest I let fall carrying around on my back  a lot of junk few pieces I’ve got  have become inseparable  wad of papers in my pocket note from a friend  verses written on a paycheck coins not thrown in a fountain throwing everything I have  against a wall pieces shatter into crystal  salmon consents to be eaten oak tree signs the waiver carrot smiles as it’s bitten  climate agrees to more changes money luxuriates in its dirtiness  a future’s written in cursive  on a brick wall by an anarchist with a pink gel pen 

lucid while burning there's a certain knowledge only the sick are privy to only when things start to fail can they examine their insides what surprises them most is nothing is hidden there nothing unique in system function, failure, circulation, structure, or nuance they feel a renewed desire to live upon learning this

Trees on the subject of rebellion I'd just like to point out  something went wrong  in adulthood this idea that we'd need  to dedicate this time  to working at desks  barely moving animated by a slight  pulse in our spines  where to draw the line  our only allies being trees

hiring committee she reminds me of someone I never slept with he spends a lot of time  tying shoes could see getting very tired of her chin they must not like the taste of prunes catch the exaggeration in her vowels notice the spot on his sweater don't see how he'd be a good match for the furniture how could they work with these benefits

zip car date she takes me there with her calm tone we're in this forever, together alone she doesn't like being touched so we hold phones, bluetooth to mouth like Tristan and Isolde we're trying a new socially conscious bar where the waiters are paid nothing cocktails, recycled going to her apartment she puts on a map of the world I touch her in all the trouble spots getting a text from zipcar central overdue on the current rental drone deposits me in detention for debtors it all starts again with the bike-share cycle

Robot & Juliette I love her even when Nothing goes as programmed She's high above me drinking wine Saying things I never could have thought of I work all lines and angles I crunch big numbers But can't arrange flowers Or quantify their value I don't know what she sees in me I'm completely transparent But when she touches my batteries We start to run in parallel

http://youtu.be/6kQidmfy5sk Strange Names

Insomniac Lullaby I go back and fourth between The big screen and the small screen Trying to catch A glimpse of myself The big screen's the size of a window The small screen fits my hand Yet I can't go through that window And my hand would break the glass Like a fly I try landing on different sites Not understanding how I'm trapped I go back and fourth between The big screen and the small screen 'til I'm completely Sick of myself

https://bobgaulke.bandcamp.com/album/memory-anticipation

The war on people  a big part of us  needs to know when the shit comes down a tiny part of us  had it so good it'd kill out of boredom an invisible part  feels like It's not attached to the body and would willingly replace salvation  with stark appraisals just to  feel  something new

choice options press a button be intimately involved in someone's life make a selection sense of vertigo invades the mind answer a question  face to face with another set of desires fight for resources parceled out in bits over time destroyed by options beaten by choice victims of abundance  could want anything less bludgeoned by decisions lifted by limits  working with just what overwhelms

I scare them all away writing messages to tell me they want to get to know me seeing me in profile making up their own stories they always want to meet me but I hesitate when they get too close to me I scare them all away go out for tea just us and a couple of animals stuffed into chairs in a poorly lit hole in the wall wanting to tell me their secrets wanting everything explained but when it gets too creepy they run and rip their slacks tracing every word singing every melody my existence is too absurd to fit their childhood dreams running to the army focusing their death ray kissing some hero while credits roll over my face

dinner we evolved this relationship over dinner she’d eat anything I’d bring her just wanting to sit there together in the dark she didn’t want us to look at each other  truth be told she was a messy eater  I’d just focus on the sounds  of her teeth against the fork we’d play with food for hours I’d wait for her to finish  those vegetable traumas relived with each passing dish  by the time we left the table  we were only able  to drift off to sleep  on the way up the stairs awaking with a killer hunger  foraging all day for another dinner  the entire pattern would repeat itself  without ever making it to dessert

False Beginners heart doesn’t learn it can’t grow back it’s one dumb animal  threatening attack slash and burn making primitive traps we bait our mouths tying up our hands think I was here once before that smell and taste something’s familiar something brings me down a well worn road deja vu all over for false beginners you don’t know what to do your spine’s in control you wouldn’t be making these moves behind a one-way mirror the science is in research proves it expert minds blown by false beginners

"My life influenced me"- Ionesco record collection is the language  musical ability a typewriter vocal tract a subway fascination trap is a screen placed over your life to catch anything too large to be swallowed and excreted

The quality of our solitude after you scrape the ads swipe off the phone dial down the sugar, fat, and tobacco  stop worrying about bills department manager to-do list and tiny revenge scenarios how's it going in there how's the quality of your solitude forgetting the music voice to exercise pornographic Gifs translations unrealized what frequencies do you hear What does your void look like  does God have a beard is anything purple and beach-like there's nothing that compares  with that roaring silence naked on a log the cold has returned  I grab your fingers gently pulling you  we're eye to eye the moment dissolves your roar swallows mine I forget what we are

Connecticut  Her voice was weak  From counting money I filled in gaps  Over salad She'd tell me we'd Go hiking next weekend Always texting  To cancel Her parents, vague memories Her sister, an outpatient professional Neighbors, dead industrial thieves Living in suburbs of Connecticut  Checking my invitation twice In the servant's entrance Adjusting to the strange lighting With my mid-Atlantic accent Mistaken for a mine disaster hero Read about on platinum television  Pocketing the envelope from the desk After her bone spur orgasm Her dogs chased me  To the poverty line  I caught a ride back  With the doctor Selling me his daughter's OxyContin supply Out of the suburbs  Of Connecticut 

Identity Theft we meet in places  where I don’t live singing songs  I’ve never learnt I’m fixing for you   your favorite dish we’re driving in a car  that you’ve leased to the mall in a new  part of the city buying clothes  that don’t fit  we swipe purchases  with a disposable card then relax  to a very loud film later we undress  to just our masks engaging in consensual  s&m  I whisper sweet nothings  in your ear  tomorrow I start another job I’m not sure what it is

You look younger Did you lose weight Are you having sex Did you finally get over That drama you had It's good to see you Yes I'm still the same Still at it; some of the Names have changed We should get a beer Or a tea if you insist Run over those old scars With a brisk scrubbing action