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True Life Funnies

 True-Life Funnies


As he threatened 

me with the knife 

I thought, 

“this isn’t the time” 


I had just come back 

from my shrink 

ready to do more work

on my things 


As he growled, 

“Give me your money!!!” 

I snarled, 

“I don’t have any...


...but if you want 

the debt on my cards, 

feel free for 25k!!!” 


I then assumed the pose 

part Shaggy-part Groucho 

I let fourth a growl 

straight out of GI-Joe 


He got scared and said, “Peace” 

Then I walked down the street 

I thought I should call the police 

Just then he robbed someone else 


We went down to the station 

where they new his name and location 

they had him under surveillance 

and were waiting for a warrant 


He was an English learner 

He seemed pretty nervous 

I couldn’t decide if I wanted to hurt him 

Or simply call his parents

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