And then some

I've maxed my cards
we'll need groceries

but you should come out
if only for the weekend

dialogue doesn’t stop
it's never boring to me

I rely on our friendship
to get through these evenings

when the world outside 
looks dangerous and ugly

we're saved by the thought
we've got nothing worth stealing

got a new recipe
saved you some books

of course we'll sing
despite these moods

I need to set you straight
you'll tell me a thing or two

our hearts can't bear another year
without me and you

Splitting Ourselves

Splitting Ourselves

half of us are afraid
wanting to be strong when things go down

half of us never made
dreams come true we want it now

half of us resort to blame
demanding a right to make bigger mistakes

half of us don't feel ashamed
refusing science we follow our hearts

which half of us
inside or outside
top or bottom

which half of us
brothers or sisters
sober or drunken

in our heads or hearts
with lottery tickets
at work on the weekend
in bed and churches

all of us explain
reasons and motives up to a point

the point up to the pain
in front our lives we feel lonely and lost

all of us need the same thing
someone who gets us gets us all night

in the meantime we're angry
if anyone else feels satisfied

(and there's a whole lot of pain
when we split ourselves up)

He said/She said

He said/She said

Our styles are different; that I can see
Our aims are the same, ultimately

This level of comfort's difficult to maintain
Even with advances in technology

So I say let's destroy the world politely
There's no reason to be mean

If we destroy the world politely
It may even say "Thanks"

It's written in prophecies
It's spelt out on lists

How can we deny your desire
For happiness

We'll watch it on monitors
Feel it in winds

It'll be incremental
Except for an occasional rift

We'll take things apart
Then eat up the bits

You could play along
With honorary player status

modus vivendi

modus vivendi

I meet people
We talk about our lives

Take off clothes
And try to survive

Barely scratching surfaces
Stabbing the dark

Waking up without
Feeling too caught

Creating small
Understandings

With shared dreams,
Fears, and loss

Spreading dormant viruses
While almost touching love

1,000 Decisions

1,000 decisions

When you make
A thousand decisions

Nostalgia's instant
For the life you had just seconds before

But the game moves on
Pieces drop

Only then you notice
Locks on the door

Others demand
You show your hand

For a second you feel
Confidence slip

But the moment's yours
Precisely because

They're too scared
To acknowledge

What they've already lost

Kinesthetic Learning

Kinesthetic Learning

I need to feel you
under layers of social things

pages of
misunderstandings

I need to know animal
in the staged shoot

original
un-manipulated you

whose horizontality
leaves nothing to desire in a sunrise

How Long?

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0uufEiCTYEo

The Past

The Past

They were big people
They spoke in loud voices

They attempted
Great things

Those statues in the park
Are life-sized, by the way

They were made out of bronze
And would often go years

Without wiping
The birdshit off their faces

another rochester

Another Rochester

astronomers have discovered
another Rochester
signals bouncing off
structures of Montevideo-X
reflecting into deep space

although it's mostly conjecture
researchers posit that
the city-planet hosts
a population of mostly content
middle-class professionals

several decent parks,
a waterfront,
a rehabilitated financial district
and at least one
tolerable band

weather conditions seem favorable
to habitation
for individuals uncomfortable
with the prospect of a completely
tropical existence

prospective colonizers are reminded
that they carry their
discontented DNA
with them regardless of
altered chemical states

st.again.

st.again.

Against the current
Against the wisdom
Against the past
Against all patterns

You measure yourself
In pounds of resistance
Sometimes forgetting to tell me
What I'm up against

Common sense
Current science
Folklore, legends
World religions

All this friction
All this tension
With repetition
Suddenly
Becomes delicious

The Underwear Salesman

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zwUF6y7p5yo

you little american

You little american

foreign policy decisions
in the dessert order

racism apparent in
choice of flavors

history of oppression
in the name of your team

conscience of a colonizer
evidenced by your sneeze

making love like
a clumsy army

small talk in a scene
from a hulu series

choosing friends based
on their utility

vacationing like
an olympic team

and you tell me
have the nerve to say

"what does any of this
have to do with me?"

Every Chance

Every Chance

Today was desperate

Tomorrow's out of your grasp

You give it everything you got

Every chance is your last

Memorizing pieces of the plot

Doesn't help with the act

Curtain still comes down

On your sleight of hand

If you could change anything 

You'd ask for a cigarette and a mask

Is that a second line you hear

Every chance is your last

The girl appears

With nothing in her hands

Directing you to the door 

Behind the magician

Feel the cut of the saw

Hear the audience gasp

You're back on the street

Torn by the past

Ordering scotch

Staring at a landscape in France 

Leave a ten dollar tip

Every chance is your last

fuck me into next week

fuck me into next week

freezing in the
air conditioning

melting
on the street

brain blown out
from beeping

signals
I can't feel

no apocalypse
will save us

there are spots
to be cleaned

the externals
don't seem to last

but feel
eternal here

Petals of Yes

Petals of Yes

under layers of no

there are petals of yes

arrayed in a defense

at points on the stem

intruders approach

from below

releasing powdery substances

received at its tips

it has an immediate effect

disrupting the defense

chemical signals

form a calculated hook

and then all the no's

make up one big yes

faster than a thought

evolution slithers on its back

Island of Men

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Lp_FsWEaBpI

Upsetting the design

upsetting the design

people will love you 

without a reason

people will hate you 

never knowing why

the beauty is fragile

it goes without saying

deep as veins

blue as the night

if we found paradise

would we insist on keeping it

despite all we know 

of our kind

maybe we should just

enjoy the moment

anything more would 

upset the design

what she said

what she said

need to tell you a secret
need you in close

never told anyone
you won’t be the last

since I was a kid
I’ve had this impulse

I've come to understand
I’m not like everyone else

as I’ve gotten older
it’s only gotten worse

seen many doctors
there’s just no cure

hate group activities
won’t join any cause

can’t stand poetry
crude forms of art

won’t support your team
or sing along

don’t throw frisbees
or play fucking ball

sickened by humanity
since I was a little girl

saved by a few paintings
handful of books

we'll never be friends
forget this kiss

we can't understand each other
and I take comfort in that

reverse cinderella

reverse cinderella

she was always sleeping with the wrong people
her friends had warned her

she might wake up desperate or worse
discover she’d become cinderella in reverse

she fell for artists and musicians
men with failing shops

sculptors living in basements
with very big dogs

one day she met a banker
with an extremely small heart

she said to herself she’d love him
and help his heart enlarge

he showered her with vacations
she shared her passion for the arts

she made him a patron
of all her friends’ work

decades spun her head
she found herself rich and alone

up until her death she was never sure
if she took the right way to go

The Wild Woman

The wild woman

They made the bars too light
They couldn't hold her

She'd drink the men into a corner
When they thought they were feeding her

They tried various forms
Of domestication

She didn't take to
Any of them

They'd settle for guided tours
In ambulances behind

Face masks and chastity belts
She saw right through them

They had a plan to turn
Her smile into a gallery

But they just couldn't
Get the funding

She outlasted most of them
But still had too many enemies

The missing "W"

The missing "W"

What
Was
Wrong
With
What
We
Were

How can you be so together

When we're not

Pyromaniacs on the event horizon

Pyromaniacs on the event horizon

I'd give you my fire if you could use it
We could burn trouble for a while

Take you to the room full of secrets
Make love to you for a smile

I've spent my life entirely naked
Wearing arms around my chest

Sending flares to the event horizon
Asking for a little help

Rescuers come in uniform
Blankets and trucks make a mess

Never waiting for the smoke to clear
Before they're off somewhere else

I'd give you a forrest you could burn it
Nature does worse in a storm

Compressing charcoal into diamond
Some things are worth waiting for

$9

$9

I see you rocking those
nine dollar jeans
feel like I'm getting 
hard up

internet dream
in your nine dollar jeans
for all the
nylon in China

come with me for a
two dollar pizza slice
fifty cent coffee
fifteen dollar rock

we can dream about
places we could never fly
with your record and
my bank account

see you rocking
those nine dollar jeans
know we're not
meant to be

not when those
nine dollar jeans
are across the street
for three

The Exile

The Exile

All at once the mask falls off
He's shaking everyone in the room

You can't be serious
Your ideas are ridiculous

You have no idea
What you do

Taking the wrong bus
Getting off at the wrong stop

The technology
Doesn't work

Then she comes home
And the meal is cooked

A sense of calm
Returns

They continue
The dialogue

Civilization
Starts with two

Sleeping with Nazis

Sleeping with Nazis

she comes home from 

a hard day at the death camp

never discusses work

I know enough not to ask

her take off her boots

in silence

I’m home early 

working for the resistance

You know what they say;

opposites attract

She loves hearing about

office gossip

I make a good soup 

I’m vegetarian

Usually too tired to move

watching netflix

Planning about the summer

when she thinks the war will end

She’s excited about her promotion

We’ll be moving deeper into Poland

I’m sure I can find work as a translator

Of course it all bothers me 

I throw up my hands 

and I go to sleep

Draw

draw

I try to give back

what I took in

don't wanna deal with 

feelings of resentment

there will be some pain

and some happiness

perhaps two sides 

of the same process

take your crayons

use my pen

mark up my books

I'll leave ink stains 

we'll scratch 

crazy lines

paint them 

over again

try on other sizes

and then see what happens

we'll call it

a draw

Why I Left

Why I left

you couldn't have guessed

so I drew a map

from where we're at

to where it'd never end

you didn't notice

me feeling stressed

you were on your mission

under my dress

as you counted the stars

I navigated by heart

to a place calm and warm

off the map

If you never knew 

enough to ask

you'll never know

why I left

Every Kind of Red

Every Kind of Red

I want every kind of red
From the tomato
To your lips
To the wine

Just when you say
There's nothing left
I get the blood
And the pen underlines

Correcting verses
Lipstick smudged on my neck
Sunset etching our faces
The pot making us ill

I'll give you
Every kind of red
Tears soaking meat
We'll never buy

You're wearing
Every kind of red
Behind sunglasses
Pictures posted with three likes

Sugarhigh

sugarhigh

را لمس نمی کند.

را لمس نمی کند.  

there are things we know

and those we don't 

places I go

places you won't 

it doesn't all get stored

it sometimes explodes

das nas san

there are secrets to touch

and secrets to hold

usernames to forget

passwords get lost

just when you think your head 

has gone to the clouds

das nas san

we can find a solution 

for your storage needs

as the world dries up

and floods us with fear

you can feel secure

when you let go of things

if you can resist its touch

you'll know how it feels

Hobbes

Invisible Fist

Spies

How we bounce

How we bounce

Sometimes when 

I'm falling apart

momentum's 

all I got

after outer layers 

burn off

and gravity 

does its part

there are just 

these ideas

held together 

with strings

microscopic 

beliefs

that appear 

not to be seen

yet appear 

to be enough

Blood on Canvas

Blood on Canvas 

threw everything I had 

against a wall 

few things I could catch 

the rest I let fall

carrying around on my back 

a lot of junk

few pieces I’ve got 

have become inseparable 

wad of papers in my pocket

note from a friend 

verses written on a paycheck

coins not thrown in a fountain

throwing everything I have 

against a wall

pieces shatter

into crystal 

salmon consents to be eaten

oak tree signs the waiver

carrot smiles as it’s bitten 

climate agrees to more changes

money luxuriates in its dirtiness 

a future’s written in cursive 

on a brick wall by an anarchist

with a pink gel pen 

Lucid while burning

lucid while burning

there's a certain knowledge
only the sick are privy to

only when things start to fail
can they examine their insides

what surprises them most
is nothing is hidden there

nothing unique in system function,
failure, circulation, structure, or nuance

they feel a renewed desire
to live upon learning this

Trees

Trees

on the subject of rebellion

I'd just like to point out 

something went wrong 

in adulthood

this idea that we'd need 

to dedicate this time 

to working at desks 

barely moving

animated by a slight 

pulse in our spines 

where to draw the line 

our only allies being trees

hiring committee

hiring committee

she reminds me of someone
I never slept with
he spends a lot of time 
tying shoes
could see getting very tired
of her chin
they must not like the taste
of prunes

catch the exaggeration
in her vowels
notice the spot
on his sweater
don't see how he'd be
a good match for the furniture
how could they work
with these benefits

Zipcar Date

zip car date

she takes me there with her calm tone
we're in this forever, together alone

she doesn't like being touched
so we hold phones,

bluetooth to mouth
like Tristan and Isolde

we're trying a new
socially conscious bar

where the waiters are paid nothing
cocktails, recycled

going to her apartment
she puts on a map of the world

I touch her in all the
trouble spots

getting a text from zipcar central
overdue on the current rental

drone deposits me in
detention for debtors

it all starts again with
the bike-share cycle

Robot & Juliette

Robot & Juliette

I love her even when
Nothing goes as programmed

She's high above me drinking wine
Saying things I never could have thought of

I work all lines and angles
I crunch big numbers

But can't arrange flowers
Or quantify their value

I don't know what she sees in me
I'm completely transparent

But when she touches my batteries
We start to run in parallel

http://youtu.be/6kQidmfy5sk

Strange Names

Insomniac Lullaby

Insomniac Lullaby

I go back and fourth between
The big screen and the small screen

Trying to catch
A glimpse of myself

The big screen's the size of a window
The small screen fits my hand

Yet I can't go through that window
And my hand would break the glass

Like a fly I try landing on different sites
Not understanding how I'm trapped

I go back and fourth between
The big screen and the small screen

'til I'm completely
Sick of myself

memory/anticipation

https://bobgaulke.bandcamp.com/album/memory-anticipation

The war on people

The war on people 

a big part of us 

needs to know

when the shit comes down

a tiny part of us 

had it so good

it'd kill out of boredom

an invisible part 

feels like

It's not attached to the body

and would willingly

replace salvation 

with stark appraisals

just to 

feel 

something new

Choice Options

choice options

press a button

be intimately involved in someone's life

make a selection

sense of vertigo invades the mind

answer a question 

face to face with another set of desires

fight for resources

parceled out in bits over time

destroyed by options

beaten by choice

victims of abundance 

could want anything less

bludgeoned by decisions

lifted by limits 

working with just

what overwhelms

I scare them all away

I scare them all away

writing messages to tell me

they want to get to know me

seeing me in profile

making up their own stories

they always want to meet me

but I hesitate

when they get too close to me

I scare them all away

go out for tea just us

and a couple of animals

stuffed into chairs

in a poorly lit hole in the wall

wanting to tell me their secrets

wanting everything explained

but when it gets too creepy

they run and rip their slacks

tracing every word

singing every melody

my existence is too absurd

to fit their childhood dreams

running to the army

focusing their death ray

kissing some hero

while credits roll over my face

dinner

dinner

we evolved this relationship over dinner

she’d eat anything I’d bring her

just wanting to sit there

together in the dark

she didn’t want us to look at each other 

truth be told she was a messy eater 

I’d just focus on the sounds 

of her teeth against the fork

we’d play with food for hours

I’d wait for her to finish 

those vegetable traumas

relived with each passing dish 

by the time we left the table 

we were only able 

to drift off to sleep 

on the way up the stairs

awaking with a killer hunger 

foraging all day for another dinner 

the entire pattern would repeat itself 

without ever making it to dessert

False Beginners

False Beginners

heart doesn’t learn
it can’t grow back
it’s one dumb animal 
threatening attack

slash and burn
making primitive traps
we bait our mouths
tying up our hands

think I was here
once before
that smell and taste
something’s familiar

something brings me
down a well worn road
deja vu all over for
false beginners

you don’t know what to do
your spine’s in control
you wouldn’t be making these moves
behind a one-way mirror

the science is in
research proves it
expert minds blown
by false beginners

The fascination trap

"My life influenced me"- Ionesco

record collection is the language 

musical ability a typewriter

vocal tract a subway

fascination trap is a screen placed

over your life to catch anything too large to be swallowed and excreted

The Quality of our Solitude

The quality of our solitude

after you scrape the ads

swipe off the phone

dial down the sugar,

fat, and tobacco 

stop worrying about bills

department manager

to-do list and

tiny revenge scenarios

how's it going in there

how's the quality of your solitude

forgetting the music

voice to exercise

pornographic Gifs

translations unrealized

what frequencies do you hear

What does your void look like 

does God have a beard

is anything purple and beach-like

there's nothing that compares 

with that roaring silence

naked on a log

the cold has returned 

I grab your fingers

gently pulling you 

we're eye to eye

the moment dissolves

your roar swallows mine

I forget what we are

Connecticut

Connecticut 

Her voice was weak 

From counting money

I filled in gaps 

Over salad

She'd tell me we'd

Go hiking next weekend

Always texting 

To cancel

Her parents, vague memories

Her sister, an outpatient professional

Neighbors, dead industrial thieves

Living in suburbs of Connecticut 

Checking my invitation twice

In the servant's entrance

Adjusting to the strange lighting

With my mid-Atlantic accent

Mistaken for a mine disaster hero

Read about on platinum television 

Pocketing the envelope from the desk

After her bone spur orgasm

Her dogs chased me 

To the poverty line 

I caught a ride back 

With the doctor

Selling me his daughter's

OxyContin supply

Out of the suburbs 

Of Connecticut 

Identity Theft

Identity Theft

we meet in places 

where I don’t live

singing songs 

I’ve never learnt

I’m fixing for you 

 your favorite dish

we’re driving in a car 

that you’ve leased

to the mall in a new 

part of the city

buying clothes 

that don’t fit 

we swipe purchases 

with a disposable card

then relax 

to a very loud film

later we undress 

to just our masks

engaging in consensual 

s&m 

I whisper sweet nothings 

in your ear 

tomorrow I start another job

I’m not sure what it is

You Look Younger

You look younger

Did you lose weight
Are you having sex
Did you finally get over
That drama you had

It's good to see you
Yes I'm still the same
Still at it; some of the
Names have changed

We should get a beer
Or a tea if you insist
Run over those old scars
With a brisk scrubbing action