Choice Options

choice options

press a button

be intimately involved in someone's life

make a selection

sense of vertigo invades the mind

answer a question 

face to face with another set of desires

fight for resources

parceled out in bits over time

destroyed by options

beaten by choice

victims of abundance 

could want anything less

bludgeoned by decisions

lifted by limits 

working with just

what overwhelms

I scare them all away

I scare them all away

writing messages to tell me

they want to get to know me

seeing me in profile

making up their own stories

they always want to meet me

but I hesitate

when they get too close to me

I scare them all away

go out for tea just us

and a couple of animals

stuffed into chairs

in a poorly lit hole in the wall

wanting to tell me their secrets

wanting everything explained

but when it gets too creepy

they run and rip their slacks

tracing every word

singing every melody

my existence is too absurd

to fit their childhood dreams

running to the army

focusing their death ray

kissing some hero

while credits roll over my face

dinner

dinner

we evolved this relationship over dinner

she’d eat anything I’d bring her

just wanting to sit there

together in the dark

she didn’t want us to look at each other 

truth be told she was a messy eater 

I’d just focus on the sounds 

of her teeth against the fork

we’d play with food for hours

I’d wait for her to finish 

those vegetable traumas

relived with each passing dish 

by the time we left the table 

we were only able 

to drift off to sleep 

on the way up the stairs

awaking with a killer hunger 

foraging all day for another dinner 

the entire pattern would repeat itself 

without ever making it to dessert

False Beginners

False Beginners

heart doesn’t learn
it can’t grow back
it’s one dumb animal 
threatening attack

slash and burn
making primitive traps
we bait our mouths
tying up our hands

think I was here
once before
that smell and taste
something’s familiar

something brings me
down a well worn road
deja vu all over for
false beginners

you don’t know what to do
your spine’s in control
you wouldn’t be making these moves
behind a one-way mirror

the science is in
research proves it
expert minds blown
by false beginners

The fascination trap

"My life influenced me"- Ionesco

record collection is the language 

musical ability a typewriter

vocal tract a subway

fascination trap is a screen placed

over your life to catch anything too large to be swallowed and excreted

The Quality of our Solitude

The quality of our solitude

after you scrape the ads

swipe off the phone

dial down the sugar,

fat, and tobacco 

stop worrying about bills

department manager

to-do list and

tiny revenge scenarios

how's it going in there

how's the quality of your solitude

forgetting the music

voice to exercise

pornographic Gifs

translations unrealized

what frequencies do you hear

What does your void look like 

does God have a beard

is anything purple and beach-like

there's nothing that compares 

with that roaring silence

naked on a log

the cold has returned 

I grab your fingers

gently pulling you 

we're eye to eye

the moment dissolves

your roar swallows mine

I forget what we are

Connecticut

Connecticut 

Her voice was weak 

From counting money

I filled in gaps 

Over salad

She'd tell me we'd

Go hiking next weekend

Always texting 

To cancel

Her parents, vague memories

Her sister, an outpatient professional

Neighbors, dead industrial thieves

Living in suburbs of Connecticut 

Checking my invitation twice

In the servant's entrance

Adjusting to the strange lighting

With my mid-Atlantic accent

Mistaken for a mine disaster hero

Read about on platinum television 

Pocketing the envelope from the desk

After her bone spur orgasm

Her dogs chased me 

To the poverty line 

I caught a ride back 

With the doctor

Selling me his daughter's

OxyContin supply

Out of the suburbs 

Of Connecticut 

Identity Theft

Identity Theft

we meet in places 

where I don’t live

singing songs 

I’ve never learnt

I’m fixing for you 

 your favorite dish

we’re driving in a car 

that you’ve leased

to the mall in a new 

part of the city

buying clothes 

that don’t fit 

we swipe purchases 

with a disposable card

then relax 

to a very loud film

later we undress 

to just our masks

engaging in consensual 

s&m 

I whisper sweet nothings 

in your ear 

tomorrow I start another job

I’m not sure what it is

You Look Younger

You look younger

Did you lose weight
Are you having sex
Did you finally get over
That drama you had

It's good to see you
Yes I'm still the same
Still at it; some of the
Names have changed

We should get a beer
Or a tea if you insist
Run over those old scars
With a brisk scrubbing action