Bugolgi Apparatus

 Me and My God me and my god  go out for a walk  sometimes she’s silent  sometimes she talks too much  about the state of the world  her favorite perfume  and anything else that  crosses the block  if I can get a word in  I sometimes ask for  small favors  whether I deserve them or not  my god likes to test my faith  she hides my keys  sends me idiots  on Mondays  to teach me patience  to share some wisdom  if I behave real well  she sends me someone to be with  and then I can forget  my dear loneliness that other god  I often cheat on her with

  Woodies I’ve clicked and travelled on vacation   shopped and gambled on location become unraveled with the notion   this world was made for you and me   from politicians to corporate interests   from religions to tribal kingdoms   to wholesale slaughter of the innocent this world was made for you and me   As I was talking in line at Staples   people in front of me grew impatient   A Jamaican pensioner   called the Philippine call center   while a Dominican clerk helped   ten other customers   drop-shipping five dollar pants   made by Uyghur prisoners   this world was made for you and me This world is my world this world is your world   as it swirls in a blur of colors as viruses get stronger and longer   this world was made for you and me

Life happens slowly   then quickly   in the eye   of a hurricane   everything is silent   and still   on the outside   destruction rages   things change   we recover   we rediscover   ourselves   we’re overtaken   slowly but surely   by the ghost of   everything else You saved my life   without you   I would’ve died   a long lonely death   over a lifetime   of tiny regrets

  truth truth that ole butter knife   just might save your life   why bother with lies   you can’t remember   oh yeah money that’s why everyone needs survival   but I don’t think you’re gonna starve   not with that body   truth yeah you cultivate that honesty and you can’t keep a job with it   or a relationship   but you can live with yourself   and make the political compromises   only at the end   about the stuff that’s   mostly irrelevant  

  Being In With a pencil book and guitar you can go pretty far from what you want to become to who you truly are just takes a break from the noise a corner with defensible lines to follow your desires to let them be your guide with a bed window and desk you can fake the rest while others are going out you can work on being in these are the tools I use you can use them, too no one tells these secrets they’re all around you tools you can use freely available ah but to be yourself that’s much less negotiable with heart, muscle, mind you can draw the lines around your desires there you’ll find others like you in an exclusive group who dance to the beat of their own rhythms

I don’t want to dwell on  disappointments,  regrets, and fears  I’ve had enough  cruelty and greed  to last me years  if you could make  a dream come true  I’ve just one simple request  perhaps we could  make that wish  or send several prayers  send tomorrow here  I want to believe  the scientists,  mystics, and my mom  that tomorrow  will be brighter  and my problems will be gone  that I’ll find love and happiness  just as sure  as the sun revolves  that people have  the power to get  everything done  I want the future now  consider me spoilt  impatient  or wrong  delusional  naive  call me what you want  but I’ve been hanging on  with my life  half a lifetime long  and before my fingers  on this ledge get walked  or worked upon  throw me a rope  from your helicopter now  we need to skip t...

  Dreams are documentaries I dreamt you were old and lonely   you paid me to come over   to give you courses on something I dreamt that I felt sorry for you   doing it strictly for the money   feeling a certain contempt   coming over from the next town   taking a golf cart on the expressway   feeling dread about your intentions I woke up realizing that the dream   was really a documentary   with the characters reversed so I deleted you on instagram